How can you truly have fun?

A name is something you’re born with, but it’s only part of who you are. As the years go by, you learn to discern life’s nuances—but first, you must know yourself. I was quite gregarious as a child, often causing a ruckus—and unashamedly so—but growing up is not automatic; it’s enforced by necessity and conviction.

Looking back at my life at the tender age of nineteen, I felt like a wayward soul. I knew I was blessed and that there were people rooting for me to succeed, yet I lacked ambition. I wanted to have fun and make memories, but it’s true what they say: “Birds of a feather flock together.” I started to associate with people, but my affiliations were short-sighted and shallow. I now believe that fun is inextricably linked to ambition, and that your self-worth reflects the time you’ve invested in yourself. Though I—like anyone—want to have fun, don’t we all want to make memories that last a lifetime?

Then I experienced a paradigm shift. I caught a glimpse of life’s dexterity—not that I fully understood it, but I was inspired. A conversation with a friend and mentor made me ponder the relationship between identity and personality. I’ve always believed that love is life’s greatest blessing; likewise, authenticity means staying true to your beliefs even when it’s unpopular. I sensed a strong synergy between identity and character. My identity is the most evident aspect of who I am, visible through my personality—how I interact with others. Yet even though I call myself empathetic, my character is the culmination of my values and beliefs—and is therefore more complex and perhaps indescribable.

Yes, we all want to have fun, but our choices shape our destiny and mold our character. To “walk the talk” means having integrity—when your words and actions resonate positively. For my generation, fun has become a dubious concept. Partying and other instant-gratification pursuits are glamorized by rap music and Hollywood, and we lend them our ears simply because we subliminally think those “superstars” are cool. Through my own journey, I’ve realized that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others and must commit to your own path. For me, that began with redefining what “fun” means. As kids, we didn’t need constant entertainment; we just needed another person. When did we lose sight of true friendship and companionship? Even now, I see peers who need an excuse to hang out—and it almost always revolves around partying.

I’ve learnt to value my friends by coming to terms with whether or not  those people that I associate with  care about my wellbeing. To love often begins with respecting the other, and so to understand what that means is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Today, I am someone who loves fiercely, and strives to look in the mirror each day with the hope that I continue to cherish life, not because I have what I want, but because I was looked after; I cherish life not because it was always easy but simply because I was never alone.